Wednesday, 17 January 2018

My Experience of Speed Dating*

After a few months of being single and failed attempts of trying to start something with guys recommended by others, I started to look at other avenues. I'll be honest it took me a while to sign up.

It actually was prompted by one of the guys at work threatening to sign me up himself. Having tried and failed with online dating, being set up and just generally being a hermit, I figured what's the harm.

It was quite nerve wrecking and well out of my comfort zone. I did initially think about asking someone to come with me, but then thought NO this is the year I do things I wouldn't normally do.

Before you go, you get sent an itinerary and some pointers. Let me tell you I was quite thankful for them! The main one that stuck with me was talking points, don't stick with the same questions. You don't want to be asked over and over again "what do you do", "where are you from", blah blah.

Most people that know me will say that I am quite outgoing and not at all shy... well that is not at all true. I find it so hard to talk to people I don't know, until I get to know them. Then I am very weird and brash. I guess that's why people get that impression.

So anyway, this got me to thinking what are good talking points? Ones that most people won't think of, that would make me stand out, well here's some that I quite liked.
  1. What kinds of things really make you laugh?
  2. What should I know about you that I'd never think to ask about? 
  3. Did you or do you have a nickname? and What's the story behind it? 
  4. What's the most random thing you can tell me about yourself? 
  5. Dogs or Cats? 
  6. Who do you talk to the most?
  7. What's the last event you bought a ticket for? 
  8. What are you passionate about?
When I arrived I was given a name badge with a number, which was associated with my table. I quite liked the fact that the women had the easy job of just sitting down whilst the men circulated. 

Bearing in mind that you only get 4-5 mins per person and a little card to mark down if you liked each said person, you had to be quick at writing down their names and whether you liked them or not before the next guy sat down. This is something I think could be improved, perhaps a minute gap between each date so that you have a chance to write down your thoughts.

The first few dates were pretty nerve wrecking, I didn't realise I could actually stumble over my own words. As someone that can talk and talk, I was fairly shocked that the words just fumbled out making weird noises. I probably looked exactly like Evan doing his newsreel scene from Bruce Almighty.

After a couple of dates we all stopped for a quick break to refresh on drinks etc. This was very much welcomed and I managed to get chatting to a few of the other women, who turned out to be pretty friendly. We all seemed to be in the same boat and started to swap notes on people, this is something that I need to be more open too because my track record is not the best.

It turned out that majority of the men that I spoke to had been speed dating a few times before, mainly because they can't seem to find someone that they click with or dates haven't panned out.

At the end of the night there was a chance to mingle with everyone, which I took up the opportunity to do. In reality it was actually just a few of us girls sitting around a table swapping stories from the dates, until a couple of the guys from the night came over and we offered for them to join us. This gave us all a chance to get to know one another in a slightly more relaxed environment and have a giggle.

The next morning you had the opportunity to login to your profile and effectively select the people you liked. If you matched with those people then you would be free to message each other. The one thing I have found with the site is that other members that you have not met are free to message you, this is not something I am keen on because that is the whole reason I chose to go speed dating. To avoid the online dating process, I have only been on there for a few hours and have been badgered by a few randoms already.

I found the whole thing an experience for sure. There were a real range of people, with a couple of typical stereotypical guys you would expect, and due to the fact that there weren't enough men to women we have been given a free go next time. I am undecided as to whether I will go again, and am yet to see if I have any matches (although I only liked one guy). 

If you aren't quite ready for the jump to face to face then why not try online dating sites such as, Birmingham DatingSingle Men in BasingstokeEssex DatingDorset DatingKent Dating or for something with less commitment Adult Dating.

* This is a sponsored post. Please see my Disclaimer for more information.

Always be kind, you never know what personal battle people are fighting.


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