Monday, 24 September 2018

The Hidden Meanings

Sometimes in life, we don't always say what we actually mean, usually for frivolous reasons. It' s often overlooked and we rarely ever open up; to tell the people around us how we're really feeling.

With my continued counselling, I have found that I do often say things I don't mean or just don't say what I want from people in a direct way. So how can I really blame them for not being there when I am in need of some company?

Simple things such as asking for someone to accompany me to an event. To just about anyone, even me, sounds like I am just seeing if someone would like to come along. It wasn't until the first person didn't want to come, yet the second person did, despite it being cold and quite late; that I then realised how much I actually needed the company.

It hit me hard, which was a big surprise, having to hold back tears because quite frankly I felt stupid. Why did I feel so taken aback that the second person quite clearly recognised the fact that I actually needed someone? I guess it was more the fact that I didn't even know myself how I truly felt, and that one kind act had me questioning my approach.

I don't know about you, but lately, I have seen a lot of quotes and memes flying around like "Not being a constant friend", which okay I get, you don't want to be at someones beckon call. Don't want anyone clinging off of you and vice versa you don't want to be that clinging whiny friend; that has to have constant validation.

Here's the thing though, friendships and any relationships for that matter work two ways, they take compromise. Sometimes one side gives more than the other, but it should always work it's way around. For me, a lot of the time, I feel as though I have given a lot in my relationships and have gotten little or nothing in return. That's not saying I do things for expectation, because well it just wouldn't be me, however, there have come times when really I do need a friend.  Someone to take the reigns a little and ask me the questions, be involved in my life and not wait for me to call for help.
It is just a shame that too often this is our reality, we get too wound up in our own lives to see what is going on in someone else's. To read between the lines and recognise the hidden meanings/ cries for help. You'll help some stranger by sharing a status on facebook or twitter because their loved one is vulnerable and suicidal. Just to show you care to those on social media, but charity begins at home as they always say??? If you have compassion for strangers, why not have that compassion for those close to you suffering the same afflictions?

Always be kind, you never know what personal battle people are fighting.


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