Tuesday, 15 January 2019

One Midi Skirt - Two Looks

After recently watching a couple of episodes of Tidy Up with Marie Kondo and discovering the KonMarie Method, I have since decided to start decluttering my house. Starting with my wardrobe, which has lead to creating outfit's much like those you see in capsule wardrobes. Pieces that can be put together and used again and again to create new looks with simple changes. 

I love simple tees, but those with subtle detailing are great too, I have no idea what brand this tee is as I bought it back in the US a couple of years ago and it was just in one of those off-brand shops with cute boho style items. I was going through a massive purple and elephants phase, however, it has been a timeless piece that seems to go with just about anything I style it with. 

This star print midi-skirt was a must purchase for me, I actually bought it on a whim thinking that it wouldn't suit me at all. Yet when it came and I put it on, I instantly fell in love and if you love a piece of clothing that much, then you know you're going to wear it. Sure I personally cannot wear flats in this skirt due to my short arse status, but who cares, it's not like I can walk the dog in it anyway so heels it is!

As for the Katie Loxton bag, well I have been admiring it online for quite some time now. Thanks to my brother I finally own it, and it just creates a whole unique vibe around this style. Making even the casual look seem upmarket, plus it is big enough to fit everything you could ever need in, trust me on that. 

It is amazing what you find when you start to declutter your house, I had actually forgotten I even owned wedge shoes like these and from the looks of them, I had never even worn them!! I actually have no idea why, they are comfy, look great and are super versatile. 

Changing up the look to a more professional style with this vintage swing wrap top was an easy choice for me. The colour, detail, and shape of the top work brilliantly together and compliment the midi-skirt. 

Are you going to give capsule wardrobes a try or tidy up your home using the KonMarie Method? I would love to hear about your experiences.

Skirt: Asos
Shirt: Miss Guided
Shoes: Newlook
Bag: Katie Loxton 

Always be kind, you never know what personal battle people are fighting.


Tuesday, 8 January 2019

I Finally Understand Why It's Okay Not To Be Okay | My Mental Health Journey

Following on with my mental health journey and counseling, I still struggle to actually open up. I know that may seem hard to grasp considering I waffle on and on here all the time, ranting and raving about god knows what, about whatever has happened to me or others in my life. That doesn't mean to say that I actually open myself up and allow myself to feel anything about it though. 

Allowing myself to let any form of feeling in, has been a no go area for me as long as I can remember, I automatically switch off from anything or anyone that can potentially hurt me in any way. I know that deep down I need to stop doing it, truthfully it is no way to live and how can I ever truly meet anyone and make a connection if I am never truly feeling. 

The last few months of 2018 were pretty hard for me, letting in people from my past that I thought I could trust. One, okay probably not so much, given our track record and past, I should have known better. That being said I allowed them into my life allowing myself to feel like I could have a laugh, friendship or more. Starting to open up and let some of my walls down is a huge step for me, let alone an ongoing battle to learn to trust those around me with my true self hiding deep behind those walls.

When the time came and I was inevitably letdown, I did what I always do and brushed it off. Just shoved down the hurt and thought hey ho another day another letdown. What more is there to be done about it, I don't want to feel pain, upset or hollow, I don't want to cry and I certainly do not want to let myself slip back into that dark black whole rocking on the edge of a cliff. That's the truth of it, or so I found out recently, I don't allow myself to feel even the slightest bit of sadness because I am too scared that I will end up right back at the start.  

So it's here that I have come to understand what IT'S OKAY TO NOT BE OKAY, really means, to allow yourself to feel the small things. Let in the hurt when you've been hurt or letdown, feel the tears. My counselor gave me a really good mantra to concentrate on when I need to try to let in those small feelings, "The House is not Burning Down, It's just burnt Toast." Just because you are allowing yourself to feel a little heartache doesn't mean that everything is going to come crashing down, believe me, this is not an easy concept for me write let alone grasp. 

Knowing your emotions, deciphering them into logical sense can be a great tool to help overcome a sense of drowning. For example, I have always wanted kids, yet whenever I see babies or hold a baby I completely switch off. I don't want to get attached or do the normal aww, let me cuddle them for hours etc. I want to give them back asap and keep well away, I will help out mechanically because that's how I am wired but I just don't get emotional. Working this back I found out that I feel this way because of my need to stay emotionally detached from anything that can hurt me. This is not the baby or mother, this is the actual picture of the situation itself. The picture of a happy family, the perfect father and my child with Harley of course. It is all a way for me to block out my emotions and quite simply jealousy of the situation, which is in no way anyone's fault, especially not mine. 

I guess to conclude if you're in a similar boat, breakdown your emotions/ feelings, find the route. Allow yourself to feel that or whatever you need to feel and remember - "The House is not Burning Down, It's just burnt Toast."

Always be kind, you never know what personal battle people are fighting.


Thursday, 3 January 2019

2018 Lookback .. and Some Resolutions

Looking back this year has been pretty damn good, although I have had some really tough times and trials to overcome. With the help of those close to me, I have truly come a long way, I just hope that 2019 brings me just as many adventures as 2018. 

The start of 2018 kind of carried over from 2017, with my unexplained weight loss still looming over me and making me feel very low. It was the start of everything to come throughout the year. Thankfully, now my weight has stabilised and I am happy with that even though I am still very slim. So long as I don't lose weight without any explanation, I am happy. 

The start wasn't all bad though, I got out of my comfort zone and started to go to meet up groups to meet new people. This is where I actually met a new friend of mine now Marie, we regularly catch up and chat. It's true that if you get up and go out there things will change. 

In March, however, I was finally able to go to the C2C concert!!! I actually went 2 days in a row, lucky me right! Firstly I went with my mum and we made a day trip of it, going to Carnaby St. checking out the Too Faced store etc. unfortunately Spectrum wasn't open then.

The second day was spent with a good friend, Jamie, it's just a shame that we can't go again this year!

Can I just say that our Summer was amazing! it certainly provided many opportunities for myself & Christie to get lots of fashion shots and spend quality time together. 

It was a wedding kind of Year too, first up was an old school friend. Hannah & school sweetheart Peter. Myself and Christie were invited to the Hen party, where we did the Pretty Muddy Race in Norwich and considering I hadn't done too much training I think I did well to keep up with Christie. 

The evening, however, didn't last very long. Let's just say that drinks went around and certain people had a little too much. That's not to say the night wasn't fruitful, I managed to figure out what Christies perfect Hen Night would be.. little did she know though. 

The wedding reception was a lovely evening, plenty of dancing and laughs.   
Come June/July I came clean to my family about my mental health, how close I had come to suicide and the fact that I truly needed help. From there I was able to open up to friends and you guys on here, which in combination with counseling has been very helpful in my recovery. Getting things off my chest, ranting and just generally talking does truly help to make sense of it all. 

Though I have had some ups and downs, I have come out of it all stronger! One amazing adventure I had in 2018 was going to Rome. Seeing one of the most beautiful and historical cities was incredible and going with close family & friends made it all that more special. 

On my return from Rome, I finally did something I had been debating for a while, I got Microbladed!!! I can honestly say it was one of the best decisions I have ever made, not having to fill in your brows every day is amazing. Just having perfect brows from the moment you wake is every girl's dream. 

Myself & Christie were invited along to a few launch parties this year, which has been pretty good for both of our blogs. Being invited to these kinds of events is always a pleasure and does make you feel important. 

Harley has been spoilt rotten this year, with many Agility events and private field trips. 

A big surprise I had the liberty of planning along with some of Christies nearest and dearest, was her Hen Party. She had no idea at all, having it in her head that we were going away for a bloggers event, she was completely in shock all day long. Having already found out some ideas from her about what she would want for a perfect Hen Do, we planned a Wherry boat trip for the day and a slumber party in the evening. 

All with games, cakes, matching tees, and alcho pops. 

November brought me both Harley & Nan's Birthday. Cannot believe my baby girl is 5 now, she is so big, I am almost the same height. To celebrate her birthday, I actually took her to the Brewdog in Norwich for a Pawty and invited along a few friends. She had a great time, those that came along found it funny too. 

For Nan's birthday, we did something a little different and went on a steam train for the day, which also happened to be Harley's first ever time. She was ever so well behaved and loved all the new smells. 

December was truly a blessed month! The start was kicked off with Christie & James's wedding which was the best wedding I have been to, not only because you can see how much they love one another but the announcement of a Baby Williamson just topped it all off. There aren't many people that you can say are 100% made for each other, however, these two are and I can say that with all of my heart. 

I finally got to go see doggy Santa again! Having missed it in the last few years, I was pleased that I was able to take Harley this year. 

My 29th was a pretty special day & night, spending the day at a spa with my Mum just relaxing enjoying treatments and afternoon tea. Followed by bowling and drinks in the evening with my close friends and brother, although I did lose my reign as air hockey champion to James, it was a great night. 

Seeing in 2018, with my Nan was pretty special too. brushing up on some line dancing and just having a little giggle was exactly what I needed. 

I couldn't have asked for better memories than these, making new friends too such as Marie, however, this year for 2019 I plan on doing more!

I want to travel more with Harley and be adventurous. Take her to new places, go hiking, see the UK's landscapes. So hopefully come March time (when I have enough money/ everything bought) I plan on taking her to a different place for a weekend every month maybe once or twice, going further afield each time.  

Always be kind, you never know what personal battle people are fighting.

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