Tuesday, 17 September 2019

Dating for Free in Suffolk*

With the end of Summer and Autumn drawing in, it's the perfect time to start pulling out the cozy knits, steaming hot chocolates and long evening strolls. Autumn can be for some, meaning me, the dawn of the end of the warm night and lovely hot days and the beginning of cold wintery mornings. Though for most it is the start of pretty colours, fall fun and a change in the season is always something to explore. 


That being said, when you start dating you may start to realize how expensive it is. Not that you should expect to be treated every day, with the crowned jewels; but popping out to town, grabbing dinner and going out to the movies sure does tally up. Not to mention the dreaded X-word (Christmas), which we all say we will never think about this early in the year, however, we all do!

So for some Suffolk Singles I have had a look at some cheap and free things to do in and around Suffolk for Suffolk Dating:

1. The Abbey Gardens are completely free, not only can you pack yourself a little picnic or just a couple of drinks, but you can walk around and enjoy the architecture. With a 14 acre area to park your bums, botanical gardens, and church ruins you sure won't run out of things to do on a perfect autumn afternoon. 

2. Now Thetford Forest is pretty well renowned and the parking can be rather steep, however, if you scope out the area and road heading towards the main park you will find places to park by the road. Which are completely free and have pathways heading into separate areas of the forest. Now for me, I think there is no better way of getting to know someone; than to head out on a good long walk and talk, possibly get lost and see how you both handle the situation. 

3. If forests aren't really your thing and you would prefer a stroll along a nice coastline, then why not discover Suffolks some 50-mile long coast path and heathlands. Southwold Beach is one that I personally have not been too, but have heard is pretty nice. Dunwich Beach is one that allows dogs all year round, perfect for those of us with four-legged friends, and finally, Deben Penisula is a very pretty heathland with a picturesque village.

4. Who doesn't love a good old Netflix and Chill night, a nice home movie or tv binge night is always a good way to get close. You can plan a home-cooked meal, with lots of cheezy junk food for the rest of the night. Both of you wrapped under a big fluffy blanket, cuddled up and stuffing your face with Cheetos. 

5. With Halloween just around the corner, why not go pumpkin picking at Undley Pumpkin Patch. It's free to enter you just have to pay for the pumpkin you pick and any activities you choose to partake in, though, from what I gather the majority of those are catered more towards children.

* This is a sponsored post. Please see my Disclaimer for more information.

Always be kind, you never know what personal battle people are fighting.



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Monday, 19 August 2019

Motif Tees

Now getting these shots is never easy, my brother is an amazing companion for getting me to feel confident enough to let loose. I mean I will give to give you a little background to trying to actually find him, I had to drive around multiple road closures and diversions. Park up on the side of a road and started to walk up towards where I thought would be the entrance to where he was. 


After trying to call him several times, he finally called me back and asked me where I was. Me being me, I answered - "Walking up the hill". Yep because that kind of answer helps nobody ever does it Kim!!! Luckily though he knows me too well and waited for me to realize what I had just said, in the end, I had to go back to the car, go back through all the road works and find my way up the other end of a closed road. 

When I finally arrived at my destination, I got out and saw who I thought was Adam coming out of the building and coincidentally got a call from him at the same time. So what did I do started to wave... Yeah you guessed it, wasn't him, so had these guys looking at me like, who the heck is this chick waving at us?? Adam on the other end of the line saying why are you waving like some weirdo, well once you start, carry on is my motto, because if you don't see who you were meant to be waving at then you won't look sooooo crazy if you carry on and walk past those who you thought were the person you were waving at. 


The embrace I got when I saw him was exactly what I needed I have to say! Having not had a proper male hug in over a month and having him be super excited to see me as it was a last-minute decision to see him, was just heart-melting. I guess I forget how much I miss him and need a male perspective on things. Seeing him he always knows how to make me laugh, no matter what. 


Jeans: H&M
Top: H&M
Boots: Primark
Bag: Loungefly x Disney 

Always be kind, you never know what personal battle people are fighting.


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Monday, 12 August 2019

Why I May seem Cold when we First Meet...



Over the last year and a half, I have been made to feel as though I am a very cold and heartless individual. Someone that can seem as though they walk around with their head held high above all others and look down their nose to look at all the lower individuals they believe to be beneath them.
Thankfully, I know for a fact that this is not true, this is NOT me and the people that truly know me for me know this too. In fact, they are the people that have made me come around, the ones that made me realize this to be true. 

"Some People will never like you because your silence irritates their Demons"

Needless to say, I have acknowledged that whilst I know I am not a heartless bitch, I do have a tendency to not show my true self to people I may not trust or know. Thus, giving off a slightly chilly vibe, due to the wall created to protect me; staying quiet and only participating in conversation when absolutely necessary. Giving as little information about myself as possible.

People like me, who have been worn down and constantly let down one way or another. Have now taken the choice to cut people out, to choose who to be around, so when we meet new people it doesn't come easy to just let it all out and be completely free and open. Believe me, I have been working on it and am a lot more open than I was a year ago, however, there are times and places that I will be very reserved. 

Depending on the situation, how others are interacting I may start to open up. Again, I will see how people react to the slight show of myself and if you react well, GREAT! If it turns nasty somehow,, as it seems to have done in one situation I have been subject too, I will go deeper into my shell. You will then be left to your own devices as to how to interpret me and for that, I guess I apologize. I apologize for your lack of integrity, because, we are all different and shouldn't be judged for our silence. 



So sure, I understand it if you think I may be a dislikeable unfun person, give me time. Let me come out of my shell and show you who I really am, from my own experience those people are the best kind of people to have around. Okay, that sounded a little condescending and pig-headed, what I mean is that people who take their time to choose who they spend their time with, who they choose to show their true selves too are usually the most loyal and fun to be around. 

Always be kind, you never know what personal battle people are fighting.


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Saturday, 10 August 2019

Taking Steps to get my Mojo Back!

It's all very well and good saying that you want to feel better, you do seem better and can see the light; but acknowledging what got you in the slump in the first place is just as much about getting you out of it, as keeping yourself out.


I realized only last week how much I missed certain areas of my life, as silly as that sounds, I think we take for granted the small things. After taking some time to actually care for myself and get rid of my overwhelming migraine, I sat and ate the same sort of meal I cook most nights. It wasn't anything special or out of this world, to my man, in particular, he would say it was pretty bland, but to me for the first time in an extremely long time; I sat back and was surprised by how much I enjoyed it. I have got my love for food back, to the extent that I crave eating again, don't get me wrong I eat a lot! But usually for the reason of having too, not because I LOVE too!

It's these little moments that give me the realization that I need to pull myself further up out of whatever this slump is, I have let those around me influence me, drag me down to a level of self-doubt. Somewhere I thought I had risen above, however, your subconscious is a funny thing. Keeping those seeds there in the back of your mind, letting them sprout into weeds that take over your garden, and we all know unless you tend to your garden regularly, it can get out of control. 

Here are some tips I have picked up on over the past few years: 

Never Force Anything - There is one thing that you have to remember when trying to not go back down the rabbit hole, never force yourself to be better. It will happen in its own time, you have to take steps to help yourself along the way though. 

Faking a Smile - Whilst you may have mastered what I like to call your "mask", the face you put out to everyone in the world except yourself. You will be setting yourself up for disaster, trust me on this one, I have done it for years! There are times that I still do it, so I know all too well how easy it is to slip back into old habits, but, with your nearest and dearest never wear your mask. Show them your true face, your sadness, your darkness and best of all your true smile. 

Talk & Cry - I have such a bad habit of bottling things up, letting things slide and not letting people in on what's really going on. No matter how silly or insignificant you think it may be, all those small things add up over time and believe me they boil over and you will eventually explode! So please find someone to talk to and if you want to cry, then cry!

Keep up your Interests! - Having started to get back into writing on here and editing my photos, getting such amazing feedback! I can only say that I wish I had kept at it, maybe it would have helped me focus a little more on me and less on the negative going on. So don't give up on whatever it is you love to do!

So I am here, I am back and I am ready to fight! Given how far I have come mentally on my own, in the past year alone. I don't think I will let anyone dim my shine anymore. I will be honest, I want a lot to happen this year and me being in a slump, letting my anxiety take over is just going to get in the way of that. Sure, I will have to do things I don't necessarily want to do, sometimes you do just want to be alone and not deal with the social interactions. I will do them, for those that have supported me and been here. 

As someone special said to me take it one day at a time...

Always be kind, you never know what personal battle people are fighting.


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Wednesday, 7 August 2019

Halfway Through the Year.. Lets have a Look Back

The last few months have been pretty darn hard for me. Not being able to talk to the one person I want to properly, has not helped the situation much; but if you know me well then you will know I have a bad habit of putting up and shutting up. Carrying on, as if nothing is on and let the candle burn out as it were.



A certain area of my life has created a very stressful environment to be in which has caused my chronic headaches to flare up and thus elevate to migraines. With my underlying anxiety issues, I have found it particularly hard to even do the basic daily tasks, let alone even think about getting back to writing on here. That's the problem with getting low, you lose your mojo, you lose all your kick. I am finished feeling like that though, I want it back. I want to start feeling like I like life again, I love Harley. I love my Man and my family - what is actually wrong. NOTHING! So I need to get out of this funk and not let this beat me, I have come too far!



Wow, me and my Man have been together for nearly 6 months!!! Crazy for me, considering I had resigned myself to not finding anyone and being a crazy dog lady. We have been through our first proper deployment, and I have to say, despite the fact that it has got to be the worst timing ever!  With the stressful situation going on, I have not felt weird or off about it at all. I genuinely believe it takes a certain type of person to be able to be away from your partner for a long period of time, you need to have complete trust and be content in your own space. 

I became an Auntie again, to Nova Joy!! Christie and James had their gorgeous baby girl on the 21st June. Meeting her was such a pleasure, Christie is such a natural mother and that is saying something given that all these years she has hated holding peoples babies and being creeped out by them Seeing her with Nova really gives me all the feels! I have to admit that she is the only baby to ever make me broody, I don't know if it's the fact that I am so close to Christie or that I am with someone who I can actually see myself with.



I have managed to cross off a few more things from my 30 before 30 list, with the help of my man. Not that he knew it, well, I didn't realize it until after some of it. Like one night we went out and decided to go to Gravity in Norwich, which is an indoor trampoline place. Basically relived my youth that night, trying to do backflips and all the stupid things that were so easy as a kid.



So far this year has been pretty amazing, with meeting my Man and new people. Christie and James becoming parents, to the beautiful Nova. I have been to Dorset and had an awesome little road trip with some amazing friends, with more yet to come. The year isn't over and whilst this half of the year has had its challenges, which aren't over yet, I am strong and can overcome anything that is thrown at me. 


That is the one big lesson I have learnt from all of this, I can overcome anything. I can do anything I put my mind too. There are a lot of people out there with struggles and anxiety, but there are a lot more people who struggle daily with a hell of a lot more on their plate than that. 

Always be kind, you never know what personal battle people are fighting.


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Friday, 14 June 2019

A Fine Line - Dominant Submissive Relationships*

When one thinks of a Dominant/ Submissive (Dom/ Sub) relationship your mind obviously automatically goes to whips, chains, and a hidden BDSM room. Whilst I suppose there are some that are like that; when it comes to bdsm dating it's all part of a much broader spectrum. In short, however, one partner generally submits to the more dominant party; in a psychological manner as opposed to totally physical. 

The major fine line to consider when looking into dom/sub relationships and sites such as My BDSM Hookups is to consider the right partner; the nature of these mind games can certainly nurture and lead to emotional/ domestic abuse. That is not to say that two consenting individuals can't have a loving, strong relationship, just consider a few things before delving into the realms of trusting someone with these fantasies. 

One major thing to stress from the outset is the importance of everything being consensual, most Dom/Sub relationships, create checklists and even contracts with all negotiations written down to reinforce this consent. - DO NOT refer to Fifty Shades as a guide for consent or communication. Personally, I haven't watched it, however, I do know that they didn't get proper consent and communication was lacking.

Communication

A strong open line of communication is key to any relationship, be it friend or partner. With these kinds of situations, however, keeping communication free flowing will not only build trust, but will keep each of you happy to express any concerns, headline any likes/ dislikes, set out any rules and or boundaries. You can also discuss experiences or expectations; keeping things completely honest will only serve you better in the future. 

Most couples start out by having a clear conversation at the beginning of the relationship to find out what sexual preferences they do and/ or do not like. One good way to do this, would be to list out all activities each of you knows and go through the list together; stating whether you would or wouldn't want to try it. Again discussing the fundamentals and ensuring that everything is consensual on both sides. 

Trust

You both have to know one another truly to be able to allow yourselves to let go and trust that person to have you. It is one thing to allow someone to have your body, but to allow someone to 'control' your mind and/ or perform certain acts of dominance; well you need to have respect and total trust. 

Without that the line between physical dominance and even emotional dominance can get blurry, you may think you want it, it may be a fantasy of yours. Yet there may come a point in the relationship that it becomes unwanted, too violent.. Forced almost.

Once you have set out some basic rules and know what you both want from the relationship, you can start off slowly and work your way up. It is always a good idea to check in with each other and keep the communication open. Remember that just because it is working for you it may be near the limit for them.

* This is a sponsored post. Please see my Disclaimer for more information.

Always be kind, you never know what personal battle people are fighting.


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Thursday, 30 May 2019

How Much Has Dating Changed in 20 Years?*

Now, as a 30-year old I have had to ask around for other opinions on this subject, I can't very well give me advice on over 40 dating and the changes that have arisen compared to their childhood notions. Though I know from personal experience that it has certainly changed a vast amount since I was a kid, or even a teenager to now. So I can only imagine the major differences that have taken place over the years, even with a 10-year gap.

Older Dating can come with its own set of challenges, some of which I covered in a past post, such as being aware that there are scammers on the internet; so never under any circumstances divulge your personal information including your bank information. There should be no need for anyone you're talking too, to know that. Always meet in a crowded place and let someone know who and when you're meeting, it is better to be safe than sorry. One big online dating question I have been asked is regarding setting up the profile, get someone to help you out, perhaps a younger family member?

I suppose that is one big major difference, the internet, and smartphones! They weren't around, you had to actually seek out someone and speak to them face-to-face if you wanted to strike up a conversation; possibly ask them out for a date. I mean can you imagine that! For youngsters the obvious locations where schools, after-school clubs or parks. You may possibly meet someone from other schools if you attended a sports event or managed to go along to a weekend night at a bowling alley and so forth. Once driving became an option the net widened as it were, thus so did the opportunities to meet people.

For adults, there was college/ university, work, and the obvious nightclubs. The majority of people who went along to nightclubs were actually single or dating, it wasn't usually heard of for those in a monogamous relationship to attend these type of venues.

It was a time before smartphones, so people had to actually socialise with one another; usually, starting the night in friendship groups and slowly start to gather up enough courage to talk to someone. That in itself was no easy task and still isn't to this day; having to check around for any clues as to whether they are with anyone or have any competition. Looking to see what kind of personality they may have, by the way, they interact with their friends, trying to come up with some witty remark that will help you stand out from the rest. Once you had the courage to actually go over, it was awkward, you both knew why you were there. Usually, the women didn't make it easy for the guys, but then why should we.

Managing multiple relationships was fairly unheard of, as it was pretty much a no go. Once you actually got someone's number if you lost it, well, you would be pretty much screwed as that's the only form of contact you had for that person. No quick Facebook search to see if you can track them down.

Nothing compared to nowadays, where it's pretty much a free for all, speaking from personal experience and my own point of view, I hate the way things have gone. The way dating apps and technology has made it all too easy to pick and choose, swipe left - swipe right; have an open bar of people. It is no wonder that divorce rates have skyrocketed and relationships can't be held down, actually going out and seeking out someone to form a connection with has long gone.

The notion - If, it's broke, fix it. Has all but been forgotten. 

There is so much red-tape too, don't get me wrong, I am all for the #metoo movement and gender equality etc. But looking at it from a male point of view, I can see how it would be difficult for them to approach women these days. An innocent witty remark to try and get our attention could be taken completely out of context, which a few years ago, would have been resolved with a few words. Now has to be blown into a whole series of hashtags and woe is me posts.

Perhaps if we all took a step back from technology and took a leaf out of our elder's book, we may have a better life going forward. Though I do feel like that is something that applies to everything.

* This is a sponsored post. Please see my Disclaimer for more information.

Always be kind, you never know what personal battle people are fighting.


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Monday, 20 May 2019

Blink | Communication in the Workplace*

Communication is key to every aspect of life, these days we forget that fact. You would think with the vast ways to communicate via, text, email, phone and even good old fashioned letters that we would find the time to actually get across what we want to say and mean. Yet too often we find ourselves getting frustrated with the lack of connection between people we have to deal with on a daily basis, simply because we can't muster the strength to find common ground. 



I used to have a work colleague that I had perfect communication skills with, we had the perfect balance of fun and professional banter as it were. Sharing our love of Marvel/ DC comics and incorporating that into our daily conversations, made our workload that much easier to deal with. 

Of course, having code names for one another and certain other people; is something that you can only do with like-minded people, however, I found it to be a much more relaxed environment to work in. Even when there was a deadline with little time to get the work done, we still managed to have a good laugh whilst achieving the clients' needs. 

We used to email one another with instructions from Jarvis (Iron-Man's AI), who would then go on to say how well his master was and whether I was doing well, me being Romanov (Black Widow). Hence, where Romanovs Views came from! IT was also pretty good for discussing unpleasant things where inevitably you have colleagues you do not necessarily get on with, so creating these code names allowed us to confidentially talk about our struggles in a confidential manner without hurting anyone's feelings or our own for that matter. 

New Employee Apps like Blink, that allow colleagues to connect in a light and fun manner; whilst also being involved in the organisations structure, fosters a friendlier environment which in turn brings productivity to the company as a whole. After all, happy employees = happy life = more willing to do better and more at work for the company. 

A bad leader can take good staff and destroy it, causing the best employees to jump ship, thus leaving the remainder to lose all motivation. A little communication can go such a long way, no matter how busy you are - say it. If you are upset or unsure - express it and ask. Running late.. let people know. Good communication is the most important aspect in life, it guides us to a more educated and thoughtful place. We are all different and come to conclusions from different angles, although we generally all want the same outcome and goals. We often forget that its the conversation that gets us there. 

* This is a brand collaboration. Please see my Disclaimer for more information.

Always be kind, you never know what personal battle people are fighting.


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Tuesday, 14 May 2019

#Love Tropic

Since joining the #lovetropic band wagon and trying to go green with my skincare, I have to say that I have seen a major improvement. This review has been a long time coming, given that the Super Greens & Pure Lagoon bottles below are actually my second lot; you can be assured that I honestly am 100% telling the truth about how amazing this dynamic duo are. 


If you have an ambassador near you I would highly recommend getting your hands on the Deluxe Skincare Kit, it may seem like a hefty amount of money at first (£98.00), however, when you break down how much these two bottles are on their own.. well it's a deal not to be missed! Each of these is priced at £42.00, together you have already made back £84.00; that's not including everything else you get in the kit. (Skin Cleanser, Skin Feast, Bamboo Cloth and a choice of a face mask). 

The Pure Lagoon serum, works wonders at preventing and banishing blemishes; I have even recently recommended it to a friend who suffers from chronic acne, after she trialed this treatment for a weekend and saw instant results. If I get any breakouts or just feel a little extra oily, the pure lagoon sorts it out instantly. Giving me clear skin within a day or two. 

Followed by Super Greens oil, which boosts your skins natural defences and helps to calm sensitive irritated skin, alongside repairing essential moisture. You are left with a more youthful and glowing complexion.  I use this oil everyday, even before applying primer, and never have any issues with my make-up staying in place. As long as you allow it to soak in properly before applying any additional layers, you are good to go. 



After loving their initial skincare collection, the arrival of the Eye Bright collection had me in awe. Having always suffered from extreme dark circles and more often that not puffiness, mostly due to lack of sleep or stress. I had to give these a try, after reading a few reviews about how they had transformed older women's lives and made their under eyes tighter and brighter, I was a little sceptical. Usually these products don't actually work, they don't make your dark circles fade or the puffiness go away, but I have to eat my words, because low and behold these little wonders have done it! After using these for the past two weeks, religiously, my dark circles have all but gone away and the my under eye surface is pretty much flat!


If you want to know more about other Tropic goodies I have reviewed and LOVED!!!! Head over to my Tropic Skincare Haul Post, where you will find the Smoothing Cleanser and Face Smooth, along with a few other essentials. 

Always be kind, you never know what personal battle people are fighting.


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Sunday, 5 May 2019

April 2019 Lookback - With a Twist

So with these posts, I usually write about the things I have done and what I hope to do in the following month. The thing is April was amazing in some respects but overall for me due to the sheer lack of respect for humankind I have come away with this dark cloud hanging over me that I just cannot shake. 


It's funny how we review the way people have brought up kids these days and how we should bring back smacking and tougher parenting. That, these are the reasons for no respect, the way people are going around treating one another, the thing is how does it explain the behavior of the older generation? The ones with the views that the behaviour of the younger is acceptable, is justifiable and carry on treating people with such low moral standards that I wouldn't even trust them with my pet fly. (For the record no I do not have a pet fly, but if I DID you get the point). 



I suppose if you hadn't already guessed, I have had a month of horrible treatment, purely due to the fact that another's views and opinions are gospel. Continually shrouding me in darkness with their actions based on their interpretation of me. With not so much as an acknowledgment to the fact that a once bubbly, animated and driven person has now turned into this quiet, shy and subdued character; too scared to say anything that may provoke the red mist from entering her carefully crafted safety zone. 

People too often forget that the person they are too promptly judging is someone with feelings and emotions. That they have views and opinions too, that sure may not match your own, but hey why does that mean to say that you don't have to get along; that they are definitely a seriously bad person? 
Some of us do have walls as high as that at the Night's Watch, but did you ever wonder what it's there for? 

It's all too easy to pre-judge someone because they were too quiet or walk with their head tall, but they generally do their best to make every effort to engage in conversation and obsessively think about every word and sound that comes out of their mouth; because they know their not great with how they can come across. Then why not just take them at what they are trying to show you if someone does not trust that you are open to the idea of who they are; then how will they ever be able to show that? The more and more you suppress the more and more you miss out.

I find myself constantly repeating myself and wonder whether I should just record this, but, everyone has shit going on, we all have off days and don't want to share it all. That does not mean that we can go around treating one another with such disrespect that we lose it for ourselves too; so you can see how this notion that respect should be earnt straight off the bat is just redonkulous. 



I am not saying that respect never has to be earned, but that should only be in cases where it has been lost due to serious disrespect. This post represents everything I believe and have been trying to get across so well, Responsibility 

If there is one thing I would like for others to get from this and bring forward is to remember to respect each other, even the ones you DON'T like. We don't have to be friends, but if we have to be in one another's lives, why not make it amicable and pleasant. 

Always be kind, you never know what personal battle people are fighting.


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Friday, 26 April 2019

Hitting a Blogging Slump..

Every Blogger goes through a stage of writer's block and just a general slump.... having not written in nearly a month!!! I can certainly say I have hit that point and know that I have hit it in my work life too, however, now I am on the right track to sorting that out and getting things back on the road to fulfilment I can start to free up some head space for writing again. Well that's the plan anyway.

It's all well and good saying you will go ahead and write, getting back to the keyboard and hovering your fingers over the keys. The thing is it's not so easy to actually come up with anything to say.. or anything worthwhile to say that people actually want to read about. that will keep you lot engaged.

I can't talk about my career at present due to conflict and well I don't want to risk anything at this present moment in time, so you will just have to wait for that, but I can say I am sick and tired of the Industry as a whole. The male dominated aspect and the general mindset that has been ingrained into their heads will not change for many more years, it's sad and very backwards in this day and age, but it's true.



I suppose part of the reason I have been in a slump is because I can't talk about why I am in a slump, why I am in a bad place. I like to be open and talk about my mental health journey, get it off my chest and help others who may be in similar situation, so they can see there is a way forward. The thing is when there are legislations and acts that force us to be quite these days it can be very difficult to know where to draw the line.


Onto kind of happier things, I have managed to keep my Squish around now for 2 months.. somehow he hasn't gotten sick of my mental outbursts or weird ways.. After discussions with my family we even remembered something big in our family! The number 23!! Our first date was on the 23rd.. and for my Grandad the number 23 always came up in big events.. honestly and it has even followed down to his children and apparently to me now..

For example he was born on the 23rd, died on the 23rd, was married on the 23rd.. my Step-Dad was born on the 23rd.. I got a call for an interview for my apprenticeship (which landed me my current career) the day my Grandad died! It's freaky.. I am not stuperstitious (yes I know it's spelt wrong), but I do believe in coincidence and fate.


It's great to have such a supportive group of people around me, even being able to call on my code word for when I am really low and having my Mum pull through for me was excellent. I only wish that everyone within that group would recognise that it's not all about taking, sometimes giving and listening are a two way street. Especially given the hand I have been dealt, I know my worth.

Jeans: H&M
Boots: Muck Boot UK
Gilet: Primark
Short Jumper: H&M
Bracelet: FriendshipCollar

Always be kind, you never know what personal battle people are fighting.


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Tuesday, 9 April 2019

March 2019 Lookback

Honestly I do not even remember much of March, to be honest it kind of molded into one. I guess that's part of the problem after being single for so long, once you get into a relationship and spend every weekend with that person it all just kind of blends. That's not to say that's a bad thing at all, after all if time flies and you just feel like it's all just flowing then you must be having fun. 

Life in General
Well I guess I have pretty much summarised my love life, I am super happy, I don't want to babble on and on or jinx anything. I just wish that other parts of my life weren't so screwed up! 

I have started to realise that the career path I have taken is not the pone for me, great work at almost 30 hey! But then again it's not that late to start again.. Being in the construction industry is very difficult for women and I don't say this light heartedly or on a wim, believe me I have been in it for well over 12 years now! That is scary in itself just saying that number, god 12 years, over a decade! So I can tell you whilst some things may have improved and by that I mean you may not get wolf whistled on site, and you may be offered the same job as a man who is equally qualified. It in no way means that you will be treated with any more respect or decency. 

I have been to about 4-5 firms now and every time it is the same thing over and over again. No matter your title, no matter your qualification or years of experience, unless you have that one piece of equipment that you will never have - A DICK! - well I am sorry but it will not get better for us. Not in the next 50 years or so at least! I have great admiration for the women that campaign and want to make progress, but to be quite frank I am tired and drained, I am done. My daily intake of abuse and being slowly worn down has come to it's limit and I need to make a change. Hence, coming to the decision to branch out, and look to teach. 

Harley
Harley finally finished her Foundation Agility Course, with flying colours I might add! She has come such a long way since first starting with Attila and honestly I couldn't have imagined being able to do a full course without her either stopping to nip me or just bark at me. Yet now we can do the full course without her needing to stop and tell me off, so I guess in reality, I have made the most
improvement :P. 

The Blog
March has been pretty good for Romanovs Views though, getting to work with the likes of Haute Flowers and managing to land quite a few paid posts. Not to mention the fact that my DA has actually reached 20+ whaaaaat!!! I am pretty happy about that, yes I know it's small potatoes for some but for small time bloggers like me, well I am pretty darn pleased. 


Always be kind, you never know what personal battle people are fighting.


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Monday, 1 April 2019

Being Safe in the World of Dominant and Submissive Sexual Relationships*

In this crazy new world where everything that was black and white has merged into a very dirty mix of grey, it can be so hard to navigate the difference between an actual loving committed relationship that enjoys exploring the adventures of a Subs and Doms sexually consensual experience; and an emotionally/ physically abusive relationship that feels as though you are partaking in the prior. It is good to have so much freedom to write, read and have access to our own experiences so that we can help others look out for those signals and recognise whether they are in one or the other. 



If you are a committed reader then you will know that I was in the later relationship and one thing I have never spoken about is the sexual relationship we had, I mean awkward much. I have written about some of my experiences in a post about Dealing with An Abusive Partner. 

The world of submissive and dominant sexual relationships is a very complicated one. There are so many varying aspects, I know I may seem like I know far too much, however, we will get onto that. 

The dominant party doesn't always have to cause physical or emotional harm, they could be providing comfort perhaps maternal. They do not always have to be female, or an adult for that matter. The submissive well I suppose a lot of the above applies, as I said it is very complicated. 

For me our sexual relationship was always planned, bath had to be run and we had to be freshly washed. Every time without fail. Honestly the number of times we actually had 'normal' sexual relations was very few. After which I was to go to the bedroom and get dressed, into my 'dom gear', from here he would then have to do as I say. But it was all kind of planned remember, I thought I was in control.

I thought that because of the fact that he felt he was always in control of everything around him (duh why did I not realise he meant me) that he just wanted me to take control for a little while. However, he had already asked me what I was going to do or was thinking of... then made suggestions, which surprise surprise I did.. 

The situation I was in was a fairly simple Sub & Dom one, he was supposed to be the submissive and I the Dom. In reality, though I suppose I was submissive, where he portrayed the submissive and had complete control over the situation. Told me when to restrain him, how and when to do certain acts and when it was all done told me to un-restrain him. 

Even with certain conversations which were all led by him, such as wishing he could be restrained whilst watching someone else f**k me, it was never two way. In fact never really for him, or in his complete control, which he hated and took out on me. I mean he didn't have eyes on me 24/7 how could he. The issue is that I have always had more male friends than I do female, I just get on with them better, and he never let me forget how it made him feel. In the end due to a considerable amount of abuse and threats I ended up just not talking to any male friends in the end, because well I was obviously going to f**k them all! 

Had I ever enjoyed it or wanted to do it? To be honest no, sure I like the latex dresses and outfits, I looked hot but no I didn't like being a Dom. It wasn't for me, it didn't get me off as they say. Looking back I felt shit, small and controlled, how I did the whole time I was with that c**t. 

With many online avenues such as sissy personals, it can be very easy to go and find an experience in this sexual world. Just we all have to be very careful as well these days. Bear in mind what you are going into, be careful and check what situation you're already in. Ask yourself are you doing this because YOU want too or becasue it will keep THEM happy?

* This is a sponsored post. Please see my Disclaimer for more information.

Always be kind, you never know what personal battle people are fighting.


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Wednesday, 27 March 2019

Random Facts


Who doesn't love reading random things about random people? I know I like learning weird and wonderful things, plus getting personal with your readers is one sure way to keep them around is it not... hopefully anyway. I have previously done 25 Random Facts about Me back in 2016, so thought it was about time I did an updated version!

What would I do if I could?
I used to want to be a vet when I was a little girl, however, an incident with a hamster led to alot of blood... cut the story short well I was nearly sick with the sight of blood and that cut that dream short. Funny thing is now that I have Harley, dealing with her cuts, blood everywhere, sick, poo you name it I am not phased in the slightest so if I had kept to my vet dream I think I would have been pretty damn good at it.

That being said now with my Degree and love of Maths.. I know GEEEEEK!!! I wouldn't mind being a teacher for highschool kids. I have been told by several of my close friends though, that I would be pretty scary. 

First Car
My first car was a little Nissan Micra.. I loved that little car. Penny was her name; you know Penny.. Penny.. Penny.. (Big Bang Theory). Now my cars called Stuart.. bet you can't guess why!


The most unusual item in my office?
A picture of Stuart the Minion... not a picture of a loved one or Harley nope... Stuart. Why.. because he is the best! (Guess that gives you a clue to one of the above).



What's my guilty pleasure?
Hmmm without going down the dirty naughty root, eating a roll of ready roll icing...


How did people describe me at highschool?
Loud, Bubbly, Hyper. A nutcase... The one that had all those fights with she who shall not be named.. I am well known for the historic fight by the girls changing rooms - head smashed into wall.. that's how you're supposed to fight right??

Who's my bestie and why?
Easy, Christie!

She is just the best, when you read about how friends are like diamonds, bright beautiful, valuable and always in style; well I can honestly say without a doubt that because of her I laugh a million times harder, cry so much less and smile a hella lot more than when she is around. The years we have spent together making memories and becoming dare I say it sisters will always be one of the best decisions of my life.

(True friends groom you like a monkey and pick sunburnt peeling head flakes from your hair!)

I couldn't have ever asked for a more loyal and true friend than Christie, my O'G!!! Now can we go get some flip-flops and have a nice little breakfast feast, with smoked salmon omelette on the side?????

What time period would I love to live in? 
Hmm I suppose though I am an independent woman and the time period I would have loved to live in wouldn't really have been the best in that sense.. well they did have a better sense of style and to be honest I do think from speaking to the oldies and my Nan that the men back then were a lot more stable and just generally gentlemanly! Yes I know that's not a word.. but I am using it!

So I would have loved to have lived in the 1940's ... I mean I would have rocked those Tea dress, Swing skirts and just all round tight waisted ensambles. Not to mention the hairstyles.


Favourite Stone?
Amethyst.. I have never really been a typical ooo diamonds kind of girl.. I just love the beauty and pretty colour of the Amethyst stone. Plus certain cuts can be cross between my two favourite colours, pink and purple. 

Name three random Facts...

1. I tried my first tiramisu last year in Rome!!! 

2. I'm not ticklish at all.

3. I lost my last baby tooth at about 12/13.. it was right at the front too at the top. 


Always be kind, you never know what personal battle people are fighting.


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