Friday, 26 April 2019

Hitting a Blogging Slump..

Every Blogger goes through a stage of writer's block and just a general slump.... having not written in nearly a month!!! I can certainly say I have hit that point and know that I have hit it in my work life too, however, now I am on the right track to sorting that out and getting things back on the road to fulfilment I can start to free up some head space for writing again. Well that's the plan anyway.

It's all well and good saying you will go ahead and write, getting back to the keyboard and hovering your fingers over the keys. The thing is it's not so easy to actually come up with anything to say.. or anything worthwhile to say that people actually want to read about. that will keep you lot engaged.

I can't talk about my career at present due to conflict and well I don't want to risk anything at this present moment in time, so you will just have to wait for that, but I can say I am sick and tired of the Industry as a whole. The male dominated aspect and the general mindset that has been ingrained into their heads will not change for many more years, it's sad and very backwards in this day and age, but it's true.

I suppose part of the reason I have been in a slump is because I can't talk about why I am in a slump, why I am in a bad place. I like to be open and talk about my mental health journey, get it off my chest and help others who may be in similar situation, so they can see there is a way forward. The thing is when there are legislations and acts that force us to be quite these days it can be very difficult to know where to draw the line.

Onto kind of happier things, I have managed to keep my Squish around now for 2 months.. somehow he hasn't gotten sick of my mental outbursts or weird ways.. After discussions with my family we even remembered something big in our family! The number 23!! Our first date was on the 23rd.. and for my Grandad the number 23 always came up in big events.. honestly and it has even followed down to his children and apparently to me now..

For example he was born on the 23rd, died on the 23rd, was married on the 23rd.. my Step-Dad was born on the 23rd.. I got a call for an interview for my apprenticeship (which landed me my current career) the day my Grandad died! It's freaky.. I am not stuperstitious (yes I know it's spelt wrong), but I do believe in coincidence and fate.

It's great to have such a supportive group of people around me, even being able to call on my code word for when I am really low and having my Mum pull through for me was excellent. I only wish that everyone within that group would recognise that it's not all about taking, sometimes giving and listening are a two way street. Especially given the hand I have been dealt, I know my worth.

Jeans: H&M
Boots: Muck Boot UK
Gilet: Primark
Short Jumper: H&M
Bracelet: FriendshipCollar

Always be kind, you never know what personal battle people are fighting.


Tuesday, 9 April 2019

March 2019 Lookback

Honestly I do not even remember much of March, to be honest it kind of molded into one. I guess that's part of the problem after being single for so long, once you get into a relationship and spend every weekend with that person it all just kind of blends. That's not to say that's a bad thing at all, after all if time flies and you just feel like it's all just flowing then you must be having fun. 

Life in General
Well I guess I have pretty much summarised my love life, I am super happy, I don't want to babble on and on or jinx anything. I just wish that other parts of my life weren't so screwed up! 

I have started to realise that the career path I have taken is not the pone for me, great work at almost 30 hey! But then again it's not that late to start again.. Being in the construction industry is very difficult for women and I don't say this light heartedly or on a wim, believe me I have been in it for well over 12 years now! That is scary in itself just saying that number, god 12 years, over a decade! So I can tell you whilst some things may have improved and by that I mean you may not get wolf whistled on site, and you may be offered the same job as a man who is equally qualified. It in no way means that you will be treated with any more respect or decency. 

I have been to about 4-5 firms now and every time it is the same thing over and over again. No matter your title, no matter your qualification or years of experience, unless you have that one piece of equipment that you will never have - A DICK! - well I am sorry but it will not get better for us. Not in the next 50 years or so at least! I have great admiration for the women that campaign and want to make progress, but to be quite frank I am tired and drained, I am done. My daily intake of abuse and being slowly worn down has come to it's limit and I need to make a change. Hence, coming to the decision to branch out, and look to teach. 

Harley finally finished her Foundation Agility Course, with flying colours I might add! She has come such a long way since first starting with Attila and honestly I couldn't have imagined being able to do a full course without her either stopping to nip me or just bark at me. Yet now we can do the full course without her needing to stop and tell me off, so I guess in reality, I have made the most
improvement :P. 

The Blog
March has been pretty good for Romanovs Views though, getting to work with the likes of Haute Flowers and managing to land quite a few paid posts. Not to mention the fact that my DA has actually reached 20+ whaaaaat!!! I am pretty happy about that, yes I know it's small potatoes for some but for small time bloggers like me, well I am pretty darn pleased. 

Always be kind, you never know what personal battle people are fighting.


Monday, 1 April 2019

Being Safe in the World of Dominant and Submissive Sexual Relationships*

In this crazy new world where everything that was black and white has merged into a very dirty mix of grey, it can be so hard to navigate the difference between an actual loving committed relationship that enjoys exploring the adventures of a Subs and Doms sexually consensual experience; and an emotionally/ physically abusive relationship that feels as though you are partaking in the prior. It is good to have so much freedom to write, read and have access to our own experiences so that we can help others look out for those signals and recognise whether they are in one or the other. 

If you are a committed reader then you will know that I was in the later relationship and one thing I have never spoken about is the sexual relationship we had, I mean awkward much. I have written about some of my experiences in a post about Dealing with An Abusive Partner. 

The world of submissive and dominant sexual relationships is a very complicated one. There are so many varying aspects, I know I may seem like I know far too much, however, we will get onto that. 

The dominant party doesn't always have to cause physical or emotional harm, they could be providing comfort perhaps maternal. They do not always have to be female, or an adult for that matter. The submissive well I suppose a lot of the above applies, as I said it is very complicated. 

For me our sexual relationship was always planned, bath had to be run and we had to be freshly washed. Every time without fail. Honestly the number of times we actually had 'normal' sexual relations was very few. After which I was to go to the bedroom and get dressed, into my 'dom gear', from here he would then have to do as I say. But it was all kind of planned remember, I thought I was in control.

I thought that because of the fact that he felt he was always in control of everything around him (duh why did I not realise he meant me) that he just wanted me to take control for a little while. However, he had already asked me what I was going to do or was thinking of... then made suggestions, which surprise surprise I did.. 

The situation I was in was a fairly simple Sub & Dom one, he was supposed to be the submissive and I the Dom. In reality, though I suppose I was submissive, where he portrayed the submissive and had complete control over the situation. Told me when to restrain him, how and when to do certain acts and when it was all done told me to un-restrain him. 

Even with certain conversations which were all led by him, such as wishing he could be restrained whilst watching someone else f**k me, it was never two way. In fact never really for him, or in his complete control, which he hated and took out on me. I mean he didn't have eyes on me 24/7 how could he. The issue is that I have always had more male friends than I do female, I just get on with them better, and he never let me forget how it made him feel. In the end due to a considerable amount of abuse and threats I ended up just not talking to any male friends in the end, because well I was obviously going to f**k them all! 

Had I ever enjoyed it or wanted to do it? To be honest no, sure I like the latex dresses and outfits, I looked hot but no I didn't like being a Dom. It wasn't for me, it didn't get me off as they say. Looking back I felt shit, small and controlled, how I did the whole time I was with that c**t. 

With many online avenues such as sissy personals, it can be very easy to go and find an experience in this sexual world. Just we all have to be very careful as well these days. Bear in mind what you are going into, be careful and check what situation you're already in. Ask yourself are you doing this because YOU want too or becasue it will keep THEM happy?

* This is a sponsored post. Please see my Disclaimer for more information.

Always be kind, you never know what personal battle people are fighting.

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