Monday, 1 April 2019

Being Safe in the World of Dominant and Submissive Sexual Relationships*

In this crazy new world where everything that was black and white has merged into a very dirty mix of grey, it can be so hard to navigate the difference between an actual loving committed relationship that enjoys exploring the adventures of a Subs and Doms sexually consensual experience; and an emotionally/ physically abusive relationship that feels as though you are partaking in the prior. It is good to have so much freedom to write, read and have access to our own experiences so that we can help others look out for those signals and recognise whether they are in one or the other. 

If you are a committed reader then you will know that I was in the later relationship and one thing I have never spoken about is the sexual relationship we had, I mean awkward much. I have written about some of my experiences in a post about Dealing with An Abusive Partner. 

The world of submissive and dominant sexual relationships is a very complicated one. There are so many varying aspects, I know I may seem like I know far too much, however, we will get onto that. 

The dominant party doesn't always have to cause physical or emotional harm, they could be providing comfort perhaps maternal. They do not always have to be female, or an adult for that matter. The submissive well I suppose a lot of the above applies, as I said it is very complicated. 

For me our sexual relationship was always planned, bath had to be run and we had to be freshly washed. Every time without fail. Honestly the number of times we actually had 'normal' sexual relations was very few. After which I was to go to the bedroom and get dressed, into my 'dom gear', from here he would then have to do as I say. But it was all kind of planned remember, I thought I was in control.

I thought that because of the fact that he felt he was always in control of everything around him (duh why did I not realise he meant me) that he just wanted me to take control for a little while. However, he had already asked me what I was going to do or was thinking of... then made suggestions, which surprise surprise I did.. 

The situation I was in was a fairly simple Sub & Dom one, he was supposed to be the submissive and I the Dom. In reality, though I suppose I was submissive, where he portrayed the submissive and had complete control over the situation. Told me when to restrain him, how and when to do certain acts and when it was all done told me to un-restrain him. 

Even with certain conversations which were all led by him, such as wishing he could be restrained whilst watching someone else f**k me, it was never two way. In fact never really for him, or in his complete control, which he hated and took out on me. I mean he didn't have eyes on me 24/7 how could he. The issue is that I have always had more male friends than I do female, I just get on with them better, and he never let me forget how it made him feel. In the end due to a considerable amount of abuse and threats I ended up just not talking to any male friends in the end, because well I was obviously going to f**k them all! 

Had I ever enjoyed it or wanted to do it? To be honest no, sure I like the latex dresses and outfits, I looked hot but no I didn't like being a Dom. It wasn't for me, it didn't get me off as they say. Looking back I felt shit, small and controlled, how I did the whole time I was with that c**t. 

With many online avenues such as sissy personals, it can be very easy to go and find an experience in this sexual world. Just we all have to be very careful as well these days. Bear in mind what you are going into, be careful and check what situation you're already in. Ask yourself are you doing this because YOU want too or becasue it will keep THEM happy?

* This is a sponsored post. Please see my Disclaimer for more information.

Always be kind, you never know what personal battle people are fighting.


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