Thursday, 30 May 2019

How Much Has Dating Changed in 20 Years?*

Now, as a 30-year old I have had to ask around for other opinions on this subject, I can't very well give me advice on over 40 dating and the changes that have arisen compared to their childhood notions. Though I know from personal experience that it has certainly changed a vast amount since I was a kid, or even a teenager to now. So I can only imagine the major differences that have taken place over the years, even with a 10-year gap.

Older Dating can come with its own set of challenges, some of which I covered in a past post, such as being aware that there are scammers on the internet; so never under any circumstances divulge your personal information including your bank information. There should be no need for anyone you're talking too, to know that. Always meet in a crowded place and let someone know who and when you're meeting, it is better to be safe than sorry. One big online dating question I have been asked is regarding setting up the profile, get someone to help you out, perhaps a younger family member?

I suppose that is one big major difference, the internet, and smartphones! They weren't around, you had to actually seek out someone and speak to them face-to-face if you wanted to strike up a conversation; possibly ask them out for a date. I mean can you imagine that! For youngsters the obvious locations where schools, after-school clubs or parks. You may possibly meet someone from other schools if you attended a sports event or managed to go along to a weekend night at a bowling alley and so forth. Once driving became an option the net widened as it were, thus so did the opportunities to meet people.

For adults, there was college/ university, work, and the obvious nightclubs. The majority of people who went along to nightclubs were actually single or dating, it wasn't usually heard of for those in a monogamous relationship to attend these type of venues.

It was a time before smartphones, so people had to actually socialise with one another; usually, starting the night in friendship groups and slowly start to gather up enough courage to talk to someone. That in itself was no easy task and still isn't to this day; having to check around for any clues as to whether they are with anyone or have any competition. Looking to see what kind of personality they may have, by the way, they interact with their friends, trying to come up with some witty remark that will help you stand out from the rest. Once you had the courage to actually go over, it was awkward, you both knew why you were there. Usually, the women didn't make it easy for the guys, but then why should we.

Managing multiple relationships was fairly unheard of, as it was pretty much a no go. Once you actually got someone's number if you lost it, well, you would be pretty much screwed as that's the only form of contact you had for that person. No quick Facebook search to see if you can track them down.

Nothing compared to nowadays, where it's pretty much a free for all, speaking from personal experience and my own point of view, I hate the way things have gone. The way dating apps and technology has made it all too easy to pick and choose, swipe left - swipe right; have an open bar of people. It is no wonder that divorce rates have skyrocketed and relationships can't be held down, actually going out and seeking out someone to form a connection with has long gone.

The notion - If, it's broke, fix it. Has all but been forgotten. 

There is so much red-tape too, don't get me wrong, I am all for the #metoo movement and gender equality etc. But looking at it from a male point of view, I can see how it would be difficult for them to approach women these days. An innocent witty remark to try and get our attention could be taken completely out of context, which a few years ago, would have been resolved with a few words. Now has to be blown into a whole series of hashtags and woe is me posts.

Perhaps if we all took a step back from technology and took a leaf out of our elder's book, we may have a better life going forward. Though I do feel like that is something that applies to everything.

* This is a sponsored post. Please see my Disclaimer for more information.

Always be kind, you never know what personal battle people are fighting.


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