Saturday, 10 August 2019

Taking Steps to get my Mojo Back!

It's all very well and good saying that you want to feel better, you do seem better and can see the light; but acknowledging what got you in the slump in the first place is just as much about getting you out of it, as keeping yourself out.

I realized only last week how much I missed certain areas of my life, as silly as that sounds, I think we take for granted the small things. After taking some time to actually care for myself and get rid of my overwhelming migraine, I sat and ate the same sort of meal I cook most nights. It wasn't anything special or out of this world, to my man, in particular, he would say it was pretty bland, but to me for the first time in an extremely long time; I sat back and was surprised by how much I enjoyed it. I have got my love for food back, to the extent that I crave eating again, don't get me wrong I eat a lot! But usually for the reason of having too, not because I LOVE too!

It's these little moments that give me the realization that I need to pull myself further up out of whatever this slump is, I have let those around me influence me, drag me down to a level of self-doubt. Somewhere I thought I had risen above, however, your subconscious is a funny thing. Keeping those seeds there in the back of your mind, letting them sprout into weeds that take over your garden, and we all know unless you tend to your garden regularly, it can get out of control. 

Here are some tips I have picked up on over the past few years: 

Never Force Anything - There is one thing that you have to remember when trying to not go back down the rabbit hole, never force yourself to be better. It will happen in its own time, you have to take steps to help yourself along the way though. 

Faking a Smile - Whilst you may have mastered what I like to call your "mask", the face you put out to everyone in the world except yourself. You will be setting yourself up for disaster, trust me on this one, I have done it for years! There are times that I still do it, so I know all too well how easy it is to slip back into old habits, but, with your nearest and dearest never wear your mask. Show them your true face, your sadness, your darkness and best of all your true smile. 

Talk & Cry - I have such a bad habit of bottling things up, letting things slide and not letting people in on what's really going on. No matter how silly or insignificant you think it may be, all those small things add up over time and believe me they boil over and you will eventually explode! So please find someone to talk to and if you want to cry, then cry!

Keep up your Interests! - Having started to get back into writing on here and editing my photos, getting such amazing feedback! I can only say that I wish I had kept at it, maybe it would have helped me focus a little more on me and less on the negative going on. So don't give up on whatever it is you love to do!

So I am here, I am back and I am ready to fight! Given how far I have come mentally on my own, in the past year alone. I don't think I will let anyone dim my shine anymore. I will be honest, I want a lot to happen this year and me being in a slump, letting my anxiety take over is just going to get in the way of that. Sure, I will have to do things I don't necessarily want to do, sometimes you do just want to be alone and not deal with the social interactions. I will do them, for those that have supported me and been here. 

As someone special said to me take it one day at a time...

Always be kind, you never know what personal battle people are fighting.


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