Thursday, 14 November 2019

Things Only a Military Girlfriend Will Know


I am still fairly new to this whole military lifestyle, the way things work, what you can and cannot say; and don't even get me started on the bad rep some military "girlfriends" have laid out for those of us that are actually in this for the long haul. 

Being a military girlfriend is a tough role, one that can be undermined in the military community, though I am finding that through social media it is becoming more open. I have found that like many there are a few things that, not only girlfriends but spouses too, can relate too. Trying to find your place can be difficult but remembering you're not alone is the key. Your relationship will endure so much, far too soon and you will find that you are either made for this life or you're not. It really is as simple as that.

The Experience of Long Distance Relationships Far too soon!

We all know that being apart is all part of daily life, however, within the military it plays a very big role. From short-term to extremely long-term, over long geographical distances that can way heavily on your relationship. Whilst it does seem daunting to start off with, the more you both go through, the stronger your partnership becomes. I have found it particularly amazing how much you find out about one another and jointly, being forced into a situation you would otherwise avoid. In turn, forces you to face all sorts of things other relationships don't even encounter until much further down the line. 

Getting on Base... owh my days

Only those that cannot get onto the base without their other half will understand, that this can be somewhat embarrassing at times. Standing in line just to get a vehicle pass to be allowed on base, which your SO would otherwise not need, seems to be a little maddening. Thankfully you only need to do it on rare occasions, or like me when you want candy! 

Acronyms - WTF

Wow, this one I am not sure I will ever get the hang of, it feels as though there are acronyms for acronyms at times. Even attending an Awards Ceremony I was lost trying to just listen out for my SO's name! Either way, I will en-devour to try my best to learn.

Rules Upon Rules Upon Rules

There are soooo many rules and yes some if not a lot applies to you too! You have to be aware of OPSEC (Yes I do know one acronym) and that means basically keeping a lot of information secret, so being extremely careful about what you post on social media and even what you might text or say to someone in passing. Not to mention dress codes, and there are many that your SO has to abide by that will spill over into your personal life. 

The PCS Discussion...

When your SO gets orders to PCS, they don't have a choice, they have to go. It's at that point that you both have to decide whether you stay or go with them. It's not an easy conversation to have, especially if you haven't been together long; if you weren't in a military relationship you wouldn't even dream of having that kind of conversation. 

If you decide to go, you're basically uprooting your life and picking up the tab for it. It's not easy to make a decision like that based on a relationship that may or may not be destined for marriage. If you stay, do you try to make it work long-distance or make a clean break? 

When to get Married???

PCS and Deployments tend to weigh heavily on the decisions to get married, you often find yourself thinking - let's just get married because it will make life easier. It's no secret that legal rights are at the forefront within the military community for those that are married, and those that aren't tend to get left behind. That's not to say that you should or shouldn't get married just because of a PCS or deployment if it's right it's right. 

There's Nothing you can do when they complain.

There will always be days when your SO says they cannot wait to get out, when they are having a really bad day and honestly there is nothing you can do to rectify it. As much as I would love to help the situation, all you can do is listen. You can try to offer advice, however, unless you have served, there's not a whole lot you can do. Just be there. 

But The PRIDE

There is a massive sense of pride knowing that no matter what role your SO plays within the military they are doing their bit to serve. Whatever their reasons for joining they are in, and they give up all the simple things we take for granted every day. 

So yeah I am proud. I am proud of every achievement. 

Always be kind, you never know what personal battle people are fighting.





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